Ocean Breeze
by JackHollows
Summary: Fai doesn't inderstand his feelings for Kurogane, and one violent outburst leads him to an emotional breakdown and a suicide attempt. All the while, Sakura lays sick and dying. Doesn't this just sound like a barrel of laughs!


Arg! So very depressing and not funny! This is unlike me, but what the heck.

Tsubasa isn't mine, if it was, Fai would be the center of attention at all times.

Slight shonen-ai? Not really, nothing happens, barely even worthy of shonen-ai,so if your looking for that keep lookin.

I gasp. I'm like a freak of nature now. Oh well

Ocean Breeze

I turned the old brass doorknob connected to the shanty door that was the entrance to our poorly tended

house, I don't think I like traveling too much, because we seem to never have a nice place to stay, and with all

the different countries we travel too it's hard to keep our money in order with all the changing forms of

currency. I'm sure the doorknob felt all greasy and disgusting, or dirty, or something...thank god I wear gloves

all the time, even though Kuro-myu says it's kind of weird and stupid looking. As I opened the door I was

greeted with the sight I expected. Kurogane sitting at a table looking in my direction, that aggravated

expression plastered on his face. I watched as his expression turned from aggravated to just plain angry.

" WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ANY FOOD!"

I laughed nervously and tied to put on the best fake smile I could muster.

" Sorry, Kuro-rin, i saw something else and bought it."

Instead of Kurogane's quiet forgiveness, which is what I expected, he went silent, all I could see in his narrow

crimson eyes were hatred

.  
" Fai-san, Sakura is sick. Very sick. she is also very hungry. I sent you out to do one simple task, and you

couldn't even do that right."

I was suprised at his sudden serious tone, what was so wrong with Sakura? When I had left it had only been a

slight cold, it couldn't be that serious. Kurogane brought his hand to his face, his anger with me mounting,

"That was the last of our money, think of someone other than yourself for once! Sakura might die! Think of

Syaoran! How would you explain to him that you killed his soul mate! What was more important to you than

that, Fai-san?"

I suddenly felt a rush of pain surge all through my body. My heart could of been cut into pieces for all I knew.

Kurogane was angry with me, he couldn't, not with me...

" I'm sorry, Kurogane-domo,"

I dropped the honorific I usually used for teasing in a desperate move to apologize to him,

" I just saw this-"

I didn't have enough time to finsh, Kurogane punched me the face, knocking my fragile body to the floor.

Kurogane looked down at me, a look of disgust in his dark red eyes.

" Don't you ever disobey me again. when I tell you to do something, you do it. If you ever go against me, even

once, I'll cut you down with this sword." I was astonished at his sudden serious tone, the way he threatened

me. My heart hurt and I tried my best not to cry. Kurogane left me alone, going to help Syaoran tend to

Sakura. I wanted to run out the door and never come back, Kurogane was an important person to me, and I

trusted him more than anyone i'd ever known, but he treated me like dirt, and to tell the truth-I was afraid of

him. I left the house, I knew I would come back, sobbing and asking for Kurogane's forgiveness. i just needed

some time to clear my head and sort things out. I walked through the town, the ocean breeze giving me a salty

taste in my mouth. It was a nice feeling, unlike anything that was back in my home country of Seresu, where it

snowed every day and no one knew of a ocean beyond the great frozen grounds of ice. I walked on an on,

thinking of a familiar song i had heard sakura-hime sing once, the words ringing out clearly in my head.

When you walk away  
You don't hear me say  
Please, oh baby, don't go  
Simple and clean is the way that your makingme feel tonight  
Nothing's like before

The music died from my thoughts, fading away slowly. I found a place at the edge of the water, so that i could

look out at the ocean and that would be all I could see. Did they have ocean's like this in Kurogane's home

country of Japan? I wanted to see where Kurogane was from, Japan, see what made him into this cold person.

He made Japan seem like such a nice tranquil place at times, and then other times he would explain it as a

harsh bloody battleground. People were shaped by their enviroments, and i think Kurogane's world was a very

unforgiving, and drenched him with his enmies blood until he was as unbreakable as stone. As for me...Serusu,

that was a fragile, quiet place. It was light, it was peaceful, and it looked beautiful, until you noticed how cold it

actually was. That was how I was, pale, quiet, and my smile always hiding the pain i was actually feeling. I once

agian looked out at the water, the music returned to my mind

Wish i could prove I love you  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?  
When we are older you'll understand  
It's enough when i say so  
Maybe some things are that simple

I felt a bit better, I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze through my long blond hair. I think Kurogane and I

actually get along better because we're so differnt, in eachother we can see all our flaws, all the things we're

missing and the other has. But Sakura and Syaoran..they had something so much different, they we'nt complete

opposites, In fact they were quite similar. And Syaoran's relentless determination and Sakura's endless joy is

what kept them together. What kept Kurogane and i together? Syaoran and Sakura had this destined-to-be

type relationship, and it was more like "true love", or however that expression went. Love was not what I felt

for Kurogane, was it? What did I feel for him?

'Would you feel better if i could walk on water for you, Kurogane?'

I thought, my gaze deepening on the light blue water. I reached my feet out to touch the water, Trying as hard

as i could not to fall in, i prayed a silent little prayer that I miracle would happen, and i let go of the rocks, I felt

the air rushing all around me as i fell...

I hate that stupid idiot, Fai. how could endanger the princess, the very person we swore to protect, for

something as selfish as the excuse he gave me? I was trying my best to help Syaoran, and i could see the hurt

and the worry in his eyes. Sakura's fever was getting worse and worse, and there was no way to get her any

medical attention. Syaoran asked me for a moment alone with her, and i obeyed. i shut the door quietly behind

me. And hoped on Princess Tomoyo's life that she would be okay. i suddenly spotted something on the table.

a small blue box, a white satin ribbon tied around it. I walked over to it, picking the odd thing up. Was this

what Fai bought? I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid from the box. Inside were dozens and dozens of pink

petals,

'what the hell?'

I thought,

'what possessed him to buy something as easily found as these?'

I brought the thing into syaoran's room, shoving the thing into his small hands.

"Take this junk, it's what Fai got instaed of food for the princess."

Syaoran's eyes widened, he spoke,

"Cherry blossom petals"

I grunted in response. i didn't see what was so special about them. Sakura's emerald eyes slowly opened. She

spoke in a quiet voice,

" Their so beautiful, Syaoran."

I left the room, that idiot Fai is gonna pay for hurting Sakura.

Sakura suddenly broke into a smile. Her green eyes once agian danced with light, fixed on the pink petals.

"May I hold them, Syaoran?"

Syaoran quietly put them into her delicate hands. She sat up, her strength returning, and blew them out the

window, they scattered into the sky, streching evreywhere.

"Beautiful.."

She whispered, her true smile returning

.  
"Syaoran looked on happily,

'Maybe food and medicine wasn't what she needed,'

he thought,

'she needed something like this.'

Syaoran and Sakura watched as the petals flew off in the distance

.  
The cold breeze almost cut my skin as i fell, my eyes closed and braced for impact, my thoughts raged with

desperate pleas and angry words.

'If I can't do this for you,'

I thought,

'I don't deserve you at all!'

I feet touched the water, but I didn't fall in, i didn't feel myself sinking into the bottom of the forsaken ocean.

Was I...standing on water! And then I felt it, two rough hands holding me, only one person had hands like

this...

"Kurogane!"

He looked annoyed with me, but I didn't care, he saved my life! He didn't want to see me die, and that was

enough for me. We were both silent, we didn't find a need for words anymore. Kourogane did mutter one thing into my ear though

"You called me by my real name. No honorifics atttached."

I suddenly felt very embarrased. I laughed a little and Kurogane actually laughed a little too. He brought me

away from the water, but was still holding me. ws he this afraid of losing me? Then, I noticed a cascade of pink

petals falling right above us, covering us, and angering Kurogane. I smiled,

"My Cherry Blossoms!"

Kurogane merely grunted in return. He wasn't really one to understand "pretty things". as we watched them fall,

the song came back to my mind for a last time,

Hold me  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
Is a little later on  
Regardless of warnings  
The future doesn't scare me at all

I was no longer afraid, and I don't think Kurogane was either.

...Nothing's like before.

That was way to sappy. Yarg! And no shonen-ai that much!


End file.
